Avoid unnecessary commands. Before giving a command think about whether this is an important issue and whether you are willing to follow through the consequences if your child doesn’t comply. It may be useful to write down 5-10 important rules and post it on the fridge. Reducing commands helps kids realize that the commands they do receive are important and that compliance is expected.

Give one command at a time

Don’t give another command until the child has a chance to comply and don’t repeat a command to a complying child. Praise instead!

Don’t repeat the same command over and over as if the child has not heard it. The child will lean that there is no real need to comply until the 5th time!

Give realistic commands appropriate for the child’s age and behaviour.

Keep commands short and to the point. The commands should clearly detail the behaviour (“Hold the glass with both hands” NOT “Watch out or you’ll spill your milk”). Try to give do commands rather than stop commands. Avoid unclear vague commands, ‘lets’ (“It’s time to put the toys away” NOT “Let’s put the toys away”) commands and ‘question’ (“Would you like to have a bath now?”) commands.

Commands should be stated positively and politely (NOT “Malli why don’t you sit still for once in your life!?”)

Include a warning signal (“In 5 minutes it will be time to put the toys away”)

Praise when children comply