Due to the global economic downturn and even prior, husbands have been spending long hours working away from home to make a living. Many wives are forced to do likewise to make ends meet. Children are left in the care of hired maids or if the children are a little older, they are left to look after themselves until their parents get back home. The television works as the baby sitter in many instances together with video games and stereo music, iPods, computer and mobile phone. While Technology has vastly improved global communications, it has at times worked to debilitate family life.

Technology has been a blessing to mankind as well as a curse, especially when it comes to the breakdown of family life. Isn't it ironic, however, that while man can so easily communicate with someone on another continent, he is often a failure when it comes to communicating with members of his own family?

In the days gone by, many families spent time talking at meal times, before retiring for the night and during weekends. Families used to go places and do things together, even while just strolling in their back yards. But now, the busy family meets only in front of the television to watch their favourite soap opera/drama or to watch a cricket match. And the tragic fact is that, in many families, when the TV is switched on, the family switches off, with conversation sinking to a low level. This can be frustrating. Questions remain unanswered for days. For a house wife it can be especially depressing with no one to talk to throughout the day, and then when the household gets back at dusk, it is nothing but silence, with each absorbed yet again in their ‘own world’ of television, computer, I Pod music or chatting/texting on their mobiles. This code of silence can give a sense of being left out, not belonging, emptiness and hopelessness. Many marriages thus disintegrate, as spouses seek communication and a listening ear outside of the family.

When problems arise within a family
All of us are occasionally guilty of a tactless or even unkind remark. And when two imperfect personalities rub against each other, tempers may flare.

But what will happen if a couple allows such problems to be a dominant factor in their marriage?

There are times when spouses argue to such an extent that from there on a communication barrier appears without so much as a word being spoken by either husband or wife. Children are caught in between as ‘the messenger’ carrying out chores in behalf of their parents and acting as their spokes person.

Communication when cut off, has serious consequences for both the couple and their children. Indeed, experts say “persistent parental discord” is one of the most destructive influences on a child. It takes two to quarrel. If your mate gets upset and angry, you must try and remain calm and tactful. Try and agree with your mate's view point and sympathize if possible. As brought out in the Holy Bible: “An answer, when mild, turns away rage.” Sharp retorts will only aggravate the situation.

Isn't it much better to ask in a kind way: “Did I upset you? What’s wrong, dear?” Lovingly and tactfully drawing out the cause of the trouble in this way will often help to solve it. On the other hand, sometimes it might be better to be firm and frank, but say so in a kind and reasonable manner, if for example your mate has irritated or upset you by his or her actions. Always give respect and you will get respect. Do not use loud or abusive speech at home as it reflects badly on you and your children. Don't blow things out of proportion, but learn to be understanding, patient and forgiving.

A young wife recalls: “We had a rough time financially after we got married. We were living from week to week and from hand to mouth. I wasn’t used to such insecurity.”

"I thought everything was just fine. But I didn’t realize she was a nervous wreck,” confessed the husband.

How did this young couple, ease their marital tensions? What did they do about this communication gap? Recalls the wife: “We had long talks. They were at times uncomfortable talks, but they always helped.”

And baby makes three
The arrival of a young couple’s first child presents a real challenge to them. After all, a newborn infant needs more than just regular feedings and diaper changes. Researchers say that infants have a strong need to communicate. Even though a baby cannot talk, a parent’s eye contact and bodily contact do much to open the lines of communication. This is one reason why many hospitals no longer separate mothers from their newborn infants.

Research shows that singing, cooing and talking to an infant is important in meeting his/her psychological needs, while interaction with other people is critically important in the start of a baby’s verbal functions.

Television films, and recorded music are popular with young folks, but these highly efficient means of communication are becoming like sewers—loaded with filth. A young child's mind is like a clean sponge. If you put the sponge on milk, it will absorb milk; likewise if you place that sponge on mud, it will absorb mud. According to a study by the National Institute of Mental Health (U.S.A.), “the evidence accumulated in the 1970s seems overwhelming that televised violence and aggression are positively correlated in children.” Parents therefore are responsible as to what they allow their children to absorb.

Reading good books together, listening to selected soothing music and watching education based television programmes will truly benefit your young one. It will also keep the lines of communication open as you read and discuss stories with your little one.

Be there for your teenagers
Some parents experience a breakdown in communication when their children reach the teen years. Those years bring for a youth not only rapid physical changes but also an onslaught of new emotions and desires. Some youths react by withdrawing into themselves. Others withdraw from their parents and become strongly attached to their peers. It therefore takes much determination on the parents’ part to keep the lines of communication open during these critical years. They must be sensitive to their youngsters’ moods and feelings.

Personal chats can be very helpful, especially when they are kept informal. It is important, though, that you make yourself available to your children. Have you had a meaningful conversation together? Do you know what your child accomplished today or how he/she may be feeling, whether or not he/she has any problems needing help from an elder? Does your child know that you care about him/her? Do you tell ‘I love you’ to your child?

Your just being there means more to your children than material riches.

Communication within happy families
In today’s complex world there are many pressures that work against family communication. And at times parents need guidance themselves. But there is no reason for you to feel helpless. Other experienced parents, loving family members and even marriage counseling can often help.

Loving, understanding, communicative parents can do wonders for their youngsters. ‘I can talk with them about anything’ is perhaps one of the finest compliments a teenager or a grown-up son or daughter can pay to their parents. Wives and husbands likewise appreciate it when they can confidently approach their life partner to discuss even the most delicate of matters, knowing they will receive an understanding and sympathetic hearing. Being spiritual minded and coming together for worship/prayer and other spiritual matters as a family also provides the opportunity for families to be tightly knit in love and service while loving communication becomes a much needed, necessary part of daily routine.